


Fire and Ashe

by Craseelix1190



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Bravery, Chocolate Fudge Cake, Coldness, Conspiracies, Courage, Divergent, F/M, Fighting, Future Possible Smut, Love, Piercings, Possible Character Death, Short Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Tattoos, Training, Violence, fears, funny moments, simulations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-28
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-17 18:28:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4676867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Craseelix1190/pseuds/Craseelix1190
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashely Carr had nothing left. No family. No friends. No faction. What she did have had been taken away from her and she had nowhere left to go except to Dauntless, but what happens as she realizes that she's more than just an Erudite orphan? What happens when love squeezes its way into her cold heart? Can love be found between two broken people?<br/>Passing Dauntless means everything to Ashely, and if she can't pass, then she becomes factionless. She's committed herself to never letting herself feel useless, so watch her fight her way to the top and find love along the way.<br/>Set 1 year before the movie and book Divergent. Eric/OC, OC/OC (to add some interesting moments).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Nothing to Lose

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! So this is one of my new stories based around the settings of Divergent, and I will use both the movie and books as references (since I absolutely love the entire series). The Eric found in this fanfiction is the representation of Eric by Jai Courtney ( <3 ), so my descriptions will be of that represented Eric. Eric will be kind've mean in the beginning but that will give way to something more, (Hopefully) :3. Please comment, give kudos and bookmark! It means a lot and it is greatly appreciated! (And it will help me update quicker!) If you have any questions feel free to ask me, and the same goes if you have ideas! I'd love to hear it all!

_**       Prologue — Nothing to Lose** _

* * *

 

_It was time._  

The clock on my bedside table rang, the shrill noises filling the room around me. I stayed in bed and didn’t move a muscle, letting the alarm cry. I stared at my ceiling, the grey walls and glass windows a signature of the Erudite faction, along with the dark navy blue accents. I didn’t have a mother to burst through my door and tell me that it was the day, or a father to pat my back and tell me that I would be okay. I had nothing keeping me here. Nothing to hold on to. My fingers grasped the side of the bedside table, body craning to turn off the alarm. I continued to stare at the ceiling for a few moments, silently wondering if I would ever see these walls again. I had a choice. Five answers but one choice. I inhaled sharply and threw my legs over the side of the bed. 

I wrung my hands in my lap and looked outside my window, the buildings around me not tall but not short either. They were confident, if buildings could be confident. I chuckled to myself at the thought, my eyes wandering around my small apartment. I didn’t have many items that I needed nor wanted. A mirror hung over a black cabinet filled with blue clothes, a couch and a desk with a computer near the entrance. I stretched my hands above my head and stood, walking to my cabinet. I pulled a navy peplum blouse out of my top drawer before taking out a pair of black slacks. I was sure that none of my other faction members would be wearing black on such a day where we were all supposed to celebrate our factions, but I pulled the clothes on and stood in front of my full body length mirror that sat against the back of the bathroom. _Ugh_. Signs of my lack of sleep were evident under my eyes and my normal olive skin seemed paler than usual. 

I was tall–taller than most in my classes, and my hair was a crow black. It hung in lifeless strands, the straight locks. Hilariously I thought to myself that I was never truly Erudite, no matter what faction or family I was born into. No. I’d always had a quick mind and a sharp tongue, always looking for adventure over books and peacefulness. I didn’t know who my parents were; perhaps they had been from an entirely different faction. When I was younger I prided myself on the possibility of being the loving Amity or the selfless Abnegation. I brushed my hair with a small, black comb with pearls interwoven inside of it. The small brush was given to me as a gift when I first graduated out of Erudite Major, the last set of training for Erudite members before the initiation, yet I always wondered if I truly deserved it. It meant nothing now, since I didn’t plan on staying in this faction. 

With careful and fine movements, I stroked the mascara brush over my eyelashes, my green eyes popping out of my face. Light brown freckles covered my cheeks, but I ignored them. I hated my freckles but all of my old friends had told me to take pride in myself. I guess if I didn’t have pride in myself, what did I truly have? 

There had only been _one._ At least in the last few years. Sure plenty of people defected from their older factions for Erudite, but only one had left this place after the Aptitude test and choosing ceremony to go to Dauntless. And now he was a leader. I had only seen him around campus a few times, his parents usually close at hand. They had been high orchestrators in Erudite technology, but he had always seemed nice. But I was young then. _He_ was young then. I had heard news that Eric was cold now–a killer in his own right. I suppose the saying was true; faction before blood. 

I walked out of my room, following the long crowds of people out of the building and to the train. From there, I knew, we would be led to a facility with the other factions, all of us cramped together for the ceremony. All of the children waiting for their tests, their futures, their lives. Suddenly I felt very cold even though it was fall, the breeze hadn’t even come around this time of year and the trees had barely even begun to change to red and orange and yellow. My favorite time of year was fall, the beautiful scenery and the smell of earth so close to home. I didn’t have any memories of anything else. Just the buildings and the trees. 

I sat on the train amongst my faction, the other girls chattering amongst themselves while their parents looked on, the boys playing some sort of game. I just sat there alone, with no family and no one to mourn the loss of me in the faction. 

I looked out the window of the train before it began to move, the buildings and the pavement giants against the ground. I sucked in a deep breath, knowing that whatever memories or things that I had left there wouldn’t matter anymore. I would enter a new home and a new place and it wouldn’t be forgiving. A new life was ahead of me, something that for once I had the power to choose and the will to change. I was in charge of my fate now.

If I said that I wasn’t afraid, it would be a total and complete lie. I was terrified. I had no idea what laid before me and what I was supposed to do. I had nothing compelling me one place or the other except the strong feelings in my chest and the thoughts running through my brain. There was only one girl that I saw that shared the same fear as me, it seemed, her eyes scanning the train car as the other girls and boys played their games and talked. She blinked and swallowed harshly, the blue cotton jacket around her neck obviously constricting. Our eyes met and we shared that brief moment of terror before she snapped her head back to her hands in her lap. The train pulled to a slow stop. 

I had no idea what I was doing, the fear of my decision and the heat of the sun bearing down on the back of my neck as sweat gathered in my brows. I stood in line, like I was a cow being herded to death. The thought only made my heart race harder in my chest and the thudding in my ears increase. My feet led me to where I was needed, my place in line absolute. No one helped each other much in Erudite. You were either smart enough to survive or you weren’t. There was no middle. There was a very distinct line crossing one from the other. I bit my bottom lip in fear, my hands beginning to shake uncontrollably at my side. I stood on line with the other Erudites, the noise louder now that other factions had joined us. Each line was directly in front of the small doors with windows and booths that represented each of our factions. Erudite. Amity. Candor. Abnegation. Dauntless. The brave. The police–the fighters. They were the strongest, and that’s what I quietly wanted to be. For myself and for others. 

“Ashely Carr?” My head perked up and I peeked at the woman in the small booth behind the door. I walked forward and glanced at her, my still Erudite eyes analyzing her. She had big black earrings and piercings all over her face. Tattoos riddled her neck and arms, and she was clad in black leather and tight cotton. She was Dauntless. A small shred of hope poured into my heart as I saw the woman, realizing that she had the choice of who she wanted to be. I took a tentative step forward and put my arm under the glass as she placed a small band around my wrist with a number on it. 

“Next!” She shouted, her eyes already moving past me. I wet my lips and moved forward before a rumbling came. The small gravelly pebbles began to shake and fly off the ground as another train moved forward, this one going much faster than the other. It wasn’t going to stop, I thought with new realization. I peered around the booths and saw men and women jumping off of the train, their bodies hitting the earth with hard thumps and rolling into the dirt. Only a few brushed themselves off, and the rest just smiled and ran towards the booths. _Dauntless_. I couldn’t help a smile from crossing my features, the idea that I would soon be one of them. It helped me move through the crowd quicker, my steps light and my heart more steady. 

As I entered the waiting rooms, the air hit me like a stone wall. It was heavy and there was obvious anticipation strumming through everyone, including myself. I looked around me, the different factions all clustered in different groups, doors lined up for the test taking. Dauntless members stood outside of each different door, their faces impassive and indescribable. Most of them wore black, their eyes staring into the crowds with dark, gleaming orbs. The riotous entrance of the Dauntless members obviously weren’t over since when they came into the room, they all stood around and talked thunderously. I noticed many of the Abnegation watching them with disapproving looks, their clothes grey and loosely fitted. They reminded me of the factionless who roamed the streets and the meeting places, lost names and families. Wandering forever. 

I took a seat near the Abnegation, their soft spoken conversations and simple movements making me feel less nervous as I waited for my name to be called. Of course I stuck out like a sore thumb amongst them, but no one said a word to me. Not even my own faction. I had never been much of a socialite but I had never felt more alone. I felt someone tap my shoulder and I turned sharply, my eyes connecting with the fierce ones of a young boy, obviously my own age with dark brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. 

“Hi,” his voice was velvety soft and he appeared to be from Dauntless. He took the seat next to me and held out his hand. “I’m Jacob, but you can call me Jake.” I bit my lip and took his hand in mine, shaking with firmness. 

“Ashely.” Jake quirked an eyebrow at me but turned without saying anything, crossing his arms against his chest. He was confident and relaxed which surprised me and made me curious. 

“You seem calm, Jake.” He smiled and glanced at me, fingers beginning to tap on his other hand which he grasped tightly. 

“Quiet storm, I suppose. You defecting, eh?” My eyes widened fractionally. 

“How–,” I was smarter than giving my moves away like that. “Why do you say that?” He rolled his eyes as if it was common knowledge. 

“You keep staring at my faction like we’re a bunch of new creatures,” he waved his fingers in front of me. “Like we’re magical. I’ve seen the look from initiates before. Gotta tell you, it ain’t easy.” He shook his head at me and leaned back. 

“And everything in life is easy?” The smile on his face dimmed. 

“No, but I doubt an Erudite like yourself can take it on. Amity may seem like family, but you’ll never get anything tighter bonded than Dauntless. You have to make friends to survive and you have to never trust people to move ahead. You don’t seem like you’re doing such a great job at it.” 

“Doesn’t that just cancel each other out?” He scoffed.

“That would be an Erudite question.” He maneuvered himself again so he was sitting towards me, his elbows resting against his knees. I was slightly angry at the comment, but I knew better than to get into a fight, and it wasn’t like it was the first time I had heard quips like that. “Hey, you wanna get yourself killed? Cool. I guess it would be a half-honored death. But I’m warning you, because joining Dauntless will test you. I haven’t just heard it, I’ve seen it. Stronger people than you have gotten killed.” Indignation rose in my chest and bloomed like a fiery blast of anger and hurt feelings. 

“You’ve got some nerve coming up to me thinking you have me all planned out, Jake.” Jake’s gaze took on an emotionless tone, one that I felt like I would begin to recognize if I was to join Dauntless. They were fighters. Killers. They had to block out their feelings. “I have nothing in Erudite, nothing to live for, no one to prove right or wrong. All I have is myself. And my will. If that’s not enough for you, then it won’t be enough for anyone and then I’m good as dead.” I stopped as I realized what I was saying and I put my fingers against my mouth. He raised his eyebrows in shock. 

“Well then, Ashe, I plan on seeing you on the other side.” The Dauntless boy smiled crookedly at me and stood, just as his name was called. Jacob Fryer. His gait was confident as he neared the Dauntless member, the assistant smiling at the boy and clapping him on the shoulder. Both of their bodies disappeared behind the room, and that’s when I heard it. 

“Ashely Carr.” _My_ name. 


	2. Fear's Prospect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashley is taking the faction simulation test and discovers something about herself that she never would've expected.

_** Chapter 1 – Fear’s Prospect ** _

* * *

**_Previously..._ **

“Well then, Ashe, I plan on seeing you on the other side.” The Dauntless boy smiled crookedly at me and stood, just as his name was called. Jacob Fryer. His gait was confident as he neared the Dauntless member, the assistant smiling at the boy and clapping him on the shoulder. Both of their bodies disappeared behind the room, and that’s when I heard it. 

“Ashely Carr.” _My_ name.

* * *

_One hundred years ago, after the war, our founders created a system they believed would prevent future conflict and create lasting peace. Today aptitude testing, based on your personality will assign you to one of the factions. While it is our belief that choosing the faction indicated by your test is the best way to ensure success within the faction system, it is your right tomorrow at the choosing ceremony to choose any of the five factions regardless of your test results. However, once the choice has been made, there will be no change permitted._

 

I remembered the orientation woman from Erudite, her name Caroline, speaking in a fast tone. I realized that them calling my name hadn’t meant that we would immediately be sent into the simulation, but instead that we would be told what the simulation meant and that we had free will to choose what lives we wanted to lead. Even though we didn’t. The ever present Jeanine Matthews smiled on from a glass pane in another room, her folder clutched tightly to her side, her blonde bobbing hair kept painfully neat. Since I was an Erudite I knew that that hairdo hadn’t changed since I was young, and I hadn’t found a hair out of place to this day. She was why I didn’t want to be in Erudite, the fake smiles and the false propaganda spread for our own faction’s benefit the only reason we existed anymore. It wasn’t about knowledge. It was about gain. 

I sat in the chair for my aptitude simulation, the person administering the test not yet in the room. I breathed deeply and tried to regulate my heartbeat, my eyes staring upwards at the ceiling for the second time that morning. A door opened and closed and I saw a woman of medium height and build walk through, her eyes brown and her hair cropped short in a buzz cut. She took hold of my head without introducing herself and placed it firmly within the cradle, her chin hovering over my face as the small electrodes on the U-shaped cradle latched onto my skull. I became rigid, my body straightening in the strange chair. 

“Calm yourself down. This test will tell you what faction you belong in, but if you have a different decision in mind, be my guest. I’m just the messenger,” she smirked at me in an arrogant way and sat herself in a chair next to my own. My lips parted waiting for whatever was going to happen. I turned my head as far as I could to see her, her short dyed stark white hair streaked with different colors. Red, black. I gulped down my fear, trying as hard as I could not to appear afraid despite myself. 

“What’s it like?” I asked, eyes darting to hers. She didn’t look at me. 

“The simulation? It’s simple–”

“Dauntless. What is Dauntless like?” That got her attention, I thought with an inward smile of satisfaction. She turned her head towards me and cocked it in bemusement. 

“It’s tough. And it’s hard. It will beat you down and break you before you even enter the walls. Don’t be stupid, smarty,” she nodded to my clothes. “It’s unbecoming of an Erudite.” I sighed at the sarcasm in her voice. The second person to doubt me in a mere hour, or at least I guessed. I hadn’t seen a clock since I entered the facility. My head turned towards the mirror adjacent to me, the wall just mirror. My eyes were wide, and I looked scared and young and innocent. _No wonder she thinks I’m a crazy, stupid Erudite_ , I thought helplessly, _she thinks I’m some young kid with no idea of hardship_. 

“Here,” she handed me a small vial of blue liquid that smelled sweet. I didn’t ask questions as she pushed it against my lips, the liquid seeping into my mouth. It was like honey, but after I swallowed it there was a taste that made me want to wash my mouth. I bit the inside of my cheek instead. 

“Good lucky, smarty.” 

* * *

 

I stand in a familiar facility. Erudite walls surround me on every side and in front of me lies two small silver plates, the contents a piece of meat and a gun. Silently I wonder why such two different things would be situated next to each other, but instead of questioning it, I walk towards the strange plates and see my reflection against the cool metal. 

“Choose,” I hear a male voice ask, but for some reason I can no longer turn. I breath in through my nose slowly, waiting. 

“Why must I choose?” I ask quietly, my voice suddenly lost to me. 

“Choose!” The voice is impatient now. Angry. 

“What’s the point, it’s stupid!” 

“Okay, Erudite.” I feel annoyance at the term build in my stomach. I can turn now. A door is suddenly open, the grey walls breaking to show a white light and a small figure. My eyes strain against the darker lit room to see what it is, and as I hear growling, I recognize that it is a dog. I turn back towards the plates but they are no longer there, replaced by mirrors instead that surround me, making me stare at myself in all different directions. Bright light fills all the corners, reflected in the glass that shows my own features. All of the faces change, their heads cocking to the side. The dog growled again behind me and I watched it carefully. The animal had become closer, its fur dark and it’s sharp teeth visible through the snarl etched on its face. It began a fast run, the dog gaining momentum fast and suddenly I know that I can’t run. If I run I die. I wondered with fear that if I die in a simulation, do I die in real life? Is it game over then? _Too weak to participate._  

I didn’t have time to think as I fell to my knees and hung my head low, my hands holding me above the ground. I could sense that the dog had paused in front of me, its foul breath cascading over my face and blowing loose strands of hair around. I slowly looked up and found the dog sitting innocently in front of me, the dark fur of the dog not matted or messy, but instead very sleek. I reached out a hand and petted it, my fingers brushing the soft fur. 

“Good doggy,” I smiled, but it was short lived as a small Erudite girl appeared. Her features were normal and weren’t striking at all, but she called to the dog with a loud voice, her hands inviting the dog in front of me towards her. I shook my head and was ready to caution the girl, but the dog snarled viciously and saliva dripped from its teeth. The dog took of at a sprint as the girl began to run, her feet not fast enough for the fast paced dog. I ran, suddenly running faster than what I should have been capable of, and grasped the dog with my arms. 

I hit the ground with a loud thud, my side burning with pain as I held onto myself. There was no dog, and there was definitely no girl. _Was that it? Was that the big test that told me what faction to go into?_ I stood, my breathing wild. Strands of my hair hung in my face and they pushed away with every pant that I took. Suddenly my vision morphed and I was no longer surrounded by mirrors or in an Erudite facility, but I was on a train. My hand held tightly onto a metal pole. 

A woman sits on the train, a single piece of paper in her hands. She glares at me angrily but her face holds a grimace that frightens me. I’d never truly seen someone so scarred, so–tortured. She had tattoos on her arms of skulls and dragons that winded throughout each other, the ink changing from black to red the closer they got to her chest. Her heart. 

“Do you know this guy?” The woman points to a face on the paper, a man of normal features. Someone I could’ve sworn I had known in a past life, an unearthly connection telling me that I did know him, but my heart began to pace wildly and my skin began to tingle. I was afraid. And fear meant that I was in danger. I glanced around, my eyes locking on different things, checking to see if perhaps someone could hurt me, but it was just me and the woman. I deadpanned. 

“Well?” She prodded, her eyes sparking with hostility I had never seen anywhere. “Do you?” I held onto the pole and looked the woman in the eyes. I inhaled slowly, allowing myself to relax. _It’s just a test, I can’t be hurt,_ I thought as my fear and instincts pounded through me. 

I answered in the most calm voice I could muster. “Never. I don’t know who that is.” She threw the paper against the ground and stood, her face inches away from mine. 

“You’re lying,” her voice was deathly quiet. “You’re lying!” 

I shook my head. “No. I’m not. I don’t know who you’re talking about.” 

“I can tell you’re lying,” she gripped my arm fiercely, her fingernails clawing into my skin. “I can see it in your eyes. If you don’t tell me the truth, I’ll die here.” 

“Now who’s lying?” 

* * *

 

I gasped awake, my fingers ripping into leather and sweat beading against my forehead. I closed my eyes as my bottom lip trembled, the sudden acknowledgement that I had lied to that woman beating in time with my heart. I had lied. I guess that meant I wasn’t Candor, if it came so easy. But was it really easy? I let my fingernails dig into my pants and legs the way the woman had, the idea of being in a situation like that stretching across my thoughts. I shook my head to rid myself of the reflection process in my head and looked at the woman who had administered my simulation. She looked...Stressed, to say the least. A deep mark of confusion was etched in her features and her eyes were staring at the screen as if whatever was on it would change. 

“That’s not right,” her head bowed and her dark eyes met my own. “You’re test results were...Inconclusive.” I gaped at her incredulously. 

“What do you mean inconclusive? That simulation is supposed to tell me what to choose!” I sucked in a harsh breath. 

“It means that you’re not like the factions, or the others,” she rolled forward in her chair and put her arms on either side of my legs. 

“You’re _divergent_ , Ashely. You don’t fit into any category.” 

Divergent. The word meant a million different things. To some it meant different. To others it mean a threat. Whatever it meant to the rest, divergents were eliminated. The thought that I could be divergent made my blood run cold. I felt panic start to run through my veins, seemingly taken the place of the blood in me. _No no no, I hadn’t worked this hard to be a divergent, to lose it all._ Would the girl turn me in? Have me killed? I had seen it. I was from Erudite, I knew what happened to people they knew or found out were divergent.

* * *

 

_“Please! P-please no! I-I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Her eyes filled with confusion, the girls orbs plastered onto her mothers. Both women were sobbing, their tears running in long, translucent streams against their faces. A Dauntless guard stood above the girl who had been thrown in the faction clearing only a few moments before. He was emotionless, his eyes dark pools of hate and cold. She stared up at him, the barrel of a gun that was pointed at her head. Her sharp blue eyes begged otherwise, but it was nothing compared to his._

_“Divergence is to be eliminated.” With a loud, shrill bang, she was dead._

* * *

 

I couldn’t stop shaking uncontrollably, my hands fisted at my sides to stop from trembling. I walked home that afternoon, my footsteps heavy and my thoughts running wildly. If I was divergent and the woman who had administered my test, Tiffany, wiped out my results and instead replaced it with Erudite I would be okay. I would survive, and go to Dauntless, and prove to everyone that I was strong enough to make it. 

_I would survive._  

* * *

 

 


	3. The Choosing

_** Chapter 2 – Choosing ** _

* * *

 

Hey guys! I hope you enjoy this short chapter! If you do please comment what you expect to happen! Please give kudos if you like and bookmark if you want to read more!

* * *

 

**_Previously..._ ** ****

If I was divergent and the woman who had administered my test, Tiffany, wiped out my results and instead replaced it with Erudite I would be okay. I would survive, and go to Dauntless, and prove to everyone that I was strong enough to make it. 

_I would survive._

* * *

 

Erudite. Amity. Candor. Abnegation. Dauntless. _Erudite. Amity. Candor. Abnegation. Dauntless. Erudite. Amity. Candor. Abnegation. Dauntless._ I repeated that in my head over and over, wondering if perhaps my choice would change or impossibly become easier the more times I said those few names. _Erudite. Amity. Candor. Abnegation. Dauntless_. It should have been easy, right? Just pick one and live your life, but it seemed my life was more complicated than that. 

My feet tapped against the wood floors, my fingers tight and my back straighter than the crops of tall grain that grew in the Amity farms. It would be okay, I told myself but I was a worser liar than that. Perhaps part of my results proved for Candor, despite the fact that I couldn’t keep a straight face around them. The way they acted like they were better because they told the truth. 

What if others defected? _There had to be others. I couldn’t be the only one to join, right? To transfer? To betray? Betrayal_ , I thought bitterly. I had no one to betray, except my faction, and I didn’t even fit in there. Years of family and work, tradition and ceremony, _for what?_ What was it worth in the end? It wasn’t until they started calling names that I realized I had missed the opening words of Jeanine Matthews and Marcus Eaton. I glanced at the boy they had called. Candor. He cut his hand on the sharp knife that lay on the stone counter, blood pooling in the middle of his palm. His hand quickly went over the Candor bowl, the red blood trickling against the glass. 

_“Candor!”_ The man announced with a loud voice. I watched carefully for all the defectors. Especially for Dauntless.

“Dahlia Evert. _Dauntless!_ ” Amity.

“Shea Trentwood. _Dauntless!_ ” Amity.

“Zoey Whitfield. _Dauntless!_ ” Amity.

“Rylie Allard. _Dauntless!_ ” Amity. 

“Archer Grey. _Dauntless!_ ” Candor.

“Celia Carmichael. _Dauntless!_ ” Candor.

“Bennett Audric. _Dauntless!_ ” Candor.

“Zachary Audric. _Dauntless!_ ” Candor and the brother of Bennett. I bit my lip nervously, suddenly wondering if I truly wanted to go along with this. If I could have I would’ve laughed, the idea that I didn’t want to go along with my life sparking a nervous hilarity in my thoughts. 

“Lucas Maxwell. _Dauntless!_ ” Abnegation.

“Sierra Jameson. _Dauntless!_ ” Abnegation.

“Vera Brenton. _Dauntless!_ ” Erudite. 

My head perked up as I realized that was the frightened girl from the train yesterday, and I watched her grasp her hand with a tissue, the small white paper turning red as the Dauntless clapped once again as a defector joined them. One of the boys in the front row hugged her, the boy I had met yesterday as well too. Jacob. Erudites in my section of the room gasped and some were even crying, her family staring as their daughter walked away from them for the rest of her life. We were all stunned, to say the least. The room for defectors was dimming as Erudites were the last to choose, and Dauntless already had eleven boys and girls. If Vera’s last name was Brenton, that meant that I would be coming up soon. I watched as several more Erudites chose their birth faction, their parents whooping loudly when their decisions were made. 

“Ashely Carr.” I suppressed the need to start crying as I stood, my fingers shaking and my lip trembling. _This was it._ I really got to choose my own fate here and now and this would be it for me. My hand closed around the small silver knife on the dais, and I looked at the different bowls in front of me. Erudite. Amity. Candor. Abnegation. Dauntless. The fiery coals of the Dauntless bowls sizzled with the blood still remaining from the Dauntless born and the defectors, but I ignored that fact as I pushed the sharp edge of the knife into my palm, little droplets of cherry blood appearing from the new wound. I inhaled and kept the breath within me, holding it until I knew I had chosen. My hand curled around the blood, a droplet of the red liquid trickling out of the small crevices on my palm, waiting to fall. I placed my hand over the water of Erudite, the once clear water now murky and stained with the blood of those that had come before me. 

It felt like everyone in the room was holding their breath along with me. I didn’t care if I was taking my time, but that little drop of blood was making me decide. It was close– _so close_ to falling into the water. Before it plunged I switched my position and the blood sizzled on the hot coals, the small fire licking at the white ceramic and heating the underside of my fingers. 

“ _Dauntless!_ ”


	4. Angels Don't Survive High Falls

_** Chapter 3 – Angels Don’t Survive High Falls ** _

* * *

 

Hello! This is to make up for the previous short chapter. If you enjoy reading it please leave comments with questions, queries or ideas. If you really liked it please leave kudos and bookmark for more! Stay tuned for more chapters! <3

* * *

 

**_Previously..._ **

****It felt like everyone in the room was holding their breath along with me. I didn’t care if I was taking my time, but that little drop of blood was making me decide. It was close–so close to falling into the water. Before it fell I switched my position and the blood sizzled on the hot coals, the small fire licking at the white ceramic and heating the underside of my fingers.

“ _Dauntless!_ ”

* * *

 

Hollers of praise and happiness rang behind me like a loud orchestra, the noise filling my ears. I couldn’t hear anything else. I couldn’t hear the gasps of the Erudite or see the faces of the people that saw me as a traitor. As a _defector._ My eyes caught on that of Jeanine Matthews, her features carefully placed in an arrangement of emotionless fury. I blinked but I couldn’t place where I was. Everything was moving so fast, the praise of the Dauntless, the disappointment of the Erudite, _Jeanine_. Someone I assumed was Jacob hugged me and took me off the stage, his arms strong and warm around me. Strangely the feeling soothed the deep ache in my heart that I had done more than betray, but the feeling of suddenly being free was so much more powerful. 

“Who would’ve thought, Erudite? Well, you’re not Erudite anymore. Welcome to Dauntless, Ashely.” Jake beamed at me, his eyes bright and powerful against his dark skin. He sat me down on the edge of one of the other Dauntless borns seats, who had respectfully taken another seat elsewhere. I had made it. I was Dauntless. With the last Erudite girl choosing to stay with her faction, unlike me, the ceremony was over. There was no going back. This was it. I let out a harsh breath and looked up, my eyes closing in bliss. It’s over, thank god, I did it. I did it. This is my life now. The Dauntless began to shuffle quickly through the door, their feet thunderous as they move. Unlike the others, they made hard stomps against the ground, knowing exactly where they’re going. We walk down flight after flight of stairs and as we quickly run down, I realized that I was next to the girl from Erudite who transferred as well. 

“Hi,” my voice is soft and the girl looks over at me, her eyes glazed over with tears that she can’t hold back, dripping down her face. 

“H-hi,” she mumbles in an even softer voice than my own, her eyes darting around the leather clad shoulders and hard bodies around us. I would have been that too, probably, if I had a family that I had left behind. Someone who cared for me enough. Fingers grazed her cheek, and it took me a moment to realize that it was me. The comforting action shocked me.

“It’ll be okay, as long as we stick together.” I forced a smile. I had a feeling it wouldn’t for a while. Feet pounded as we made it to the last step, all of us bursting out of the doors like a rumbling storm; unstoppable. As we ran towards the buildings, I began to feel raindrops against my skin, cascading over my clothes and my body in cleansing waves. It was almost like a sign of the new me and I embraced the soft drops. I placed one of the clear bandaids over the cut on my hand, the fine fabric healing it instantly. Leave it to the Erudite. 

The Dauntless born ran towards a railroad behind the first few buildings of the city. My breath shuddering out of my body in hard pants, I ran as fast as I could, quickly making it to the front of the group with Vera at my side and Jake in front of me. Jake grabbed onto the large rails that had to be at least twenty feet high, allowing us to get on the train. Were they going to make us jump on a train for our first time? An older looking member of group shouted at us. 

“C’mon! The train is almost here!” Jake looked over his shoulder, already a few feet into climbing. Vera and I exchanged a frightened glance before I began to climb, my shoes slippery on the hard metal. I took them off my feet, throwing them against the ground and laughing, already feeling lighter. I pulled myself up, bar after bar before Jake pulled me up the rest of the way, his hands grasping me with a soft firmness. Water puddles began to gather around our feet and I was soaking, my fingers shaking with the sudden chill. I widened my arms and spun on the side of the tracks, my eyes shut. For the first time in years I finally felt free. 

I felt the rumble before I saw the train, the small puddles beginning to quake uncontrollably. My teeth chattered with the speed as the silver train came rushing past us. Of course it wasn’t going to slow down. Vera was faster than me, her Erudite senses telling her to take a head start, but Jake and I weren’t so lucky. I had the nagging feeling that Jake had stayed behind just to make sure I was safe, but I ran at full speed. I can’t fall. I can’t fall. I can’t fall. I couldn’t stand the idea that if I fell my initiation was over that fast, and I was immediately factionless. The last train car came quickly, both of us keeping pace to each other. It seemed that the only problem was that the platform was quickly running out and I would either have to take the plunge or forget my new life. Jake’s hand shot out from the train, his fingers dripping with rainwater. _I can do this_ , I reminded myself, _I had to_.

Just as the platform ran out I jumped onto the small ledge of the train car, my hand grasping at the metal bar with a firmness I didn’t even know I had. Jake’s hand curled around my arm and he yanked me inside. I didn’t even realize I was shaking until I was sitting down, my breath meeting me in pants and hard shallow intakes of heavy air. The only thing that felt steady in my body was the slow trickle of thought that made me assume I wasn’t fit for Dauntless. 

“Get out of my way, Amity!” A thick voice bellowed and my head shot up in apprehension. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Jake’s warm, comforting hand rubbed my back but it didn’t stop me from seeing the Candor boy, Archer, grasp the Amity girl’s shoulder and shove her up against the wall. I clearly remembered him. Short cropped black hair with a hard jawline and the faint trace of stubble growing, he was the guy that it seemed I wanted to avoid, yet the girl made me feel guilty. Her face was full of shock and fear, and without realizing it, I was on my feet. 

“Stop that!” I shouted at the boy, and his head turned slowly towards my own, his hand releasing from the girl’s shoulder. Dark brown eyes met my green ones. 

“What do you want, smart ass?” _Smart ass?_

“Leave her alone.” He walked up to me, obviously taller, but I didn’t back down. 

“Or what, you gonna talk me to death?” 

“Nah, I’ll just let you keep running your mouth, Candor.” Jake chuckled behind me and Archer glared at me, his eyes holding a level of cool fury that sent tingles down my spine. 

“I’m watching you, smart ass. Wait until the real fun begins.” A malicious smile crossed his face, but I ignored it, bumping my shoulder into his as I passed him and squatted in front of the traumatized girl. 

“Hi,” I said. 

The girl picked her head up and she had wide doe eyes full of innocence. What type of girl like that ended up on a train like this? “Hi.” Her voice was worn and raspy, and it was obvious she had been crying. I held out my hand to her and she immediately took it, straightening with me as both of us made our way back over to Jake. 

“I’m Dahlia, and thank you for that.” I smiled warmly at her and took a seat, my legs already aching from the hard running and climbing. 

“I’m Ashely. Is your name like the flower?” 

“Yes, my parents named me after a Dahlia garden that they were growing.” 

“That’s sweet,” I murmured, my fingers rubbing the spaces between the next, somehow comforting me. I silently wondered why my parents named me Ashely, or if there even was a story. If divergence was inherited, which one of my parents were divergent? Or perhaps even both. The thought made me somber. 

“The pink kind?” Jake popped his head around my shoulder, his eyebrow raised in question and a little humor. 

“No, the burgundy kind. They’re truly beautiful.” Jake leaned his forearm against his knee and moved closer to Dahlia. 

“Just like you, what a coincidence.” I almost rolled my eyes at the obviously flirty line, but I let it fly by like I didn’t notice it whatsoever. Dahlia practically turned into one of the puddles on the train tracks, her cheeks a fiery red like her hair. I assumed they named her Dahlia more because of her hair color than the flowers they were growing, but since I wasn’t Amity and I hadn’t done much gardening, I couldn’t really assume. I shot Jake a _really_ look. He shrugged his shoulders and gave Dahlia a casanova smile. Oh god. 

For at least the next twenty minutes I listened to Jake and Dahlia flirt before I finally felt like I was about to puke my brains out. I wasn’t even sure if it was all from them or the rocketing motion of the train. I breathed in and out, trying to calm myself from the hysteria I felt building in my chest. I was already beginning to miss my bed, the softness of the pillows and the warmth in all of my things. I was starting to understand that I would no longer have any of those things and that I was Dauntless now–nothing else. 

“Get ready.” One of the Dauntless born shouted from the other car, his body hanging off the side of the train as if he’d done this a million times before, the sight of the high fall and the pouring rain not making the boy stop even once. Dahlia, Jake and I looked out the side of the car, the sight of large industrial warehouses with graveled roofs the first thing in my line of sight. 

“Get ready for what?” Dahlia asked, perplexed. 

I gave her a grim look.

“I think he means get ready to jump.” I turned my head towards Jake and he shot me a wicked smile before he backed up against the end of the train car and ran, the squeak of slippery shoes and hard metal filling our ears before he jumped off the train. One after the other the initiates jumped, until it was only Dahlia and I left in the last train car. 

“Wanna jump together?” I shrugged my shoulders and held my arms against my chest. 

“It doesn’t look like we have much of a choice.” 

“All right, on the count of three. One. Two. Three!” Dahlia and I jumped from the train car, falling on the last building, the one next to the largest facility, a large glass dome in between the factory looking buildings which I was beginning to assume was a part of the Dauntless compound. Dahlia quickly let go of my hand as we left the safety of the train car, the hard pellets of rain bolting across my skin and instantly making me heavier. With my hands held out in front of me, they hit the gravel with a hard thud, connecting harshly. The next thing to fall was my side and my legs, while finally my head hung in defeat as the wind was knocked out of my lungs effectively. I gasped and kicked my legs, straining against the hard surface biting into my skin like the little pinprick of millions of needles. 

I looked over to my side to find Dahlia laying on her back, her mouth open and gathering the water from the rain. 

“It’s kinda beautiful from this view, isn’t it?” She mused, and I grumbled as I got up, leg by leg, to find everyone gathering on the roof of this building. 

“Hey look, everyone’s over there!” I yelled to Dahlia, and she pushed her head backwards, looking at the scene upside down, I was sure. 

“What would ya know.” She picked herself up and threw off whatever remaining pebbles were stuck on her.

“Look!” She pointed towards the rooftop where a man was now standing on the ledge, dressed in all black leather. From here I could tell that he was tall, not only because of where he was standing, but because of how he towered over all of the other initiates. Some other men and women gathered around the side, young, but still older compared to us sixteen year olds. The man’s muscles were rather large, defined through the short sleeve shirt and vest he wore. He seemed to be fit and deadly, and I was beginning to feel a slight hesitancy at moving towards him. 

“C’mon! Jake’s over there!” And that was that. I trudged across the wet roof, and as I got closer, certain features came into view. Short cropped dirty blonde hair, an eyebrow ring above his right eye, tattoos on his neck and his forearms, and lastly, steely blue eyes that were both cold and warm, inviting and chilling. Quickly I recognized him as the last initiate to Dauntless Erudite. Eric Coulter. I froze next to Jake as Dahlia came close to my side and I saw a small smile from the corner of my eye. 

“Welcome to Dauntless, initiates. I am Eric and I am one of your Dauntless leaders.” I was completely focused on him, my memories of him completely different from what I saw in front of me now. From years before I saw a boy with short blonde hair and a quirky smile, but now I saw a man with tattoos and piercings, his eyes as cold as glass, hardened over time. “As another part of your initiation process, one of you lucky Stiffs, Amity’s, Candors, Smart asses or Dauntless born will take a leap of faith. It’s a test of fear, courage and bravery. Three words you do not yet know the meaning of.” A small smirk played on the corner of his lip, his eyes assessing each one of us separately. Once his eyes landed on me, the almost grayish blue depths of his oddly cold orbs narrowed at me. 

“Who’s it going to be, I don’t have all day here.” I felt Jake’s hand on my side and before I could protest he had pushed me forward. I shot Jake a look that could kill if looks could truly kill. I stumbled a few inches, enough for the initiates closest to me to move away and create a path from me directly to Eric, the leader. I blinked at him and swallowed. 

“I will.” 

Something passed over his features but it was gone in a second. “Okay, a smart ass. That has to be a first. Up you go.” I took a few hesitant steps forward and Eric’s hand grabbed mine roughly. His hands were surprisingly soft, but his knuckles were bandaged, as if he had punched something recently and had the cuts to prove it. He hoisted me up next to him, his hand instinctually landing on my hip. I tried to hide my blush and kept my head down, my gaze traveling to the small hole below me, dark and hard to see in the rain. Everyone has to do this for initiation right? And they wouldn’t sacrifice their initiates, so it had to be a test of strength like Eric had said. 

“You want us to jump off a building? We just jumped on here!” The same Candor boy from before asked, fear in his voice. 

“You don’t have to,” Eric said, his voice surprisingly soft. Weirdly enough the gentleness of his voice scared me more than the harshness of his voice ever could. I was used to harshness, it was something I expected here, but it wasn’t what I found in the gentleness of his gaze when his eyes switched to my own. He hopped off the wall and walked up to the initiate, both of them face to face. Eric had at least seven inches on the boy easily. “I could always throw you off. Or you could just go factionless.” His eyes turned back to me and the heat of his gaze almost burned through the back of my skull. 

“I don’t have all day, Erudite. Jump or leave.” I sucked in a harsh breath and stepped off the ledge, the gravity of my foot taking me down in the air and making me twirl. I let out a surprised laugh and my hair came undone, the black strands whipping around me in a flurry of wet darkness. The air pushed underneath my limbs and for a moment I could almost believe I was flying, my arms outstretched towards the opposite sides of the hole. I hit the canopy net with a sharp cry, my body thrown back into the air for a moment before the momentum finally relented and I became still on the net. I was pulled to one side, a tan man with honey brown eyes reaching his hand out at me. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he looked at me as if I was some sort of strange creature and I wasn’t meant to be there. Like he had caught the wrong fish in the net. “An Erudite?” He shook his head as my hand clasped onto his, his arms hooking underneath my own to take me from the net. 

“What’s your name?” Ashely. Tell him Ashely. My brain and my mouth seemed to be malfunctioning, because all I could do was stare helplessly at him. “What you’re called? A nickname? Nothing?” He leaned forward, his eyes connecting with mine, softer than Eric’s. “Once you have a name, you can’t change it, so choose wisely.” I waited a moment, my eyes bouncing from the other Dauntless members in the room, tattooed men and women who watched me expectantly. What had Jake called me when he first met me? Ashe. _Ashe_. 

“My name’s Ashe.” 

The nice man blinked before his voice rang amongst the large space. “First jumper, Ashe!” Hoots and hollers of praise with my new name erupted from behind me and I watched all of them carefully. I moved to the side where a man guided me, a green mohawk adorning his skull. 

“First jumper, Ashe!”

The next eleven jumpers all screamed with their way down, and I was satisfied to see the last initiate jumper was the Candor, Archer. Even after all the initiates had fallen, the man who had helped me off the net stared up at the hole in the ceiling, waiting for someone else. 

“There aren’t any more initiates.” I called from behind him, but the man’s eyes stayed above him. A few seconds later a black mass fell through the hole and before I could ask who it was, Eric pulled himself off of the net alone, a slight flush to his skin. He walked forward, eyes straight ahead, cool gaze concentrated on nothing. Suddenly I understood why everyone said he had become coldhearted over the years as his demeanor was anything but warm. He stopped next to me, since I was the first jumper, and I could practically feel the warmth that he radiated despite the cold in his eyes. I could feel him hover over me. 

“You may have jumped first,” I felt his warm breath brush a few dark strands away from my ear. “But that doesn’t mean you will succeed first either.” Both of us straightened as the brown eyed man walked in front of all of us, assessing us like Eric had. 

“Dauntless born go with Lauren, the rest of the initiates follow me.” Half of the crowd of kids moved off to the woman who had black hair like me, except it was matted and seemed uncombed for _quite_ a while. Jake glanced at me before following Lauren to another part of the large black facility. 

“My name is Four, and you’ve already met your leader and partial trainer, Eric.” The Candor boy piped up. 

“What kind of name is Four? You have three siblings or something?” A few chuckles and and snorts of humor passed in the otherwise silent room. Four stepped up to Archer, his eyes draining of all their warmth in a moment’s notice. I still felt slightly uneasy with Eric behind me, his presence like a brand against my side. 

“This is a good lesson for all of you, and especially you, _last jumper_ ,” he took a pause as his head cocked to the side condescendingly. “You shut your mouth about things you don’t know, because here, once you’re out of this room you don’t make those mistakes again.” Archer looked down, as if he was guilty. 

“You understand?” I was satisfied that he jumped at Four’s powerful voice in front of him. 

“Y-yes sir.” 

“Good. Now, if any of you have any more inquiries, take them up with Eric.” Most of the kids didn’t even look at him, their eyes trained away in fear. Silently I wondered if perhaps Eric enjoyed their fear. In that moment I vowed to myself that I would try not to fear Eric, despite his obvious love for it. Four began walking and I assumed that was the cue for us to follow him. My legs felt shaky, the adrenaline still pumping through my system from the fall. 

I took up the back of the line, Eric following silently behind me. I felt as if he was scrutinizing me and I turned around, giving him a look. 

“Got a problem, Erudite?” I withheld from rolling my eyes at the name. It wasn’t the best idea to get snarky with a leader here, I guessed. 

“So first I’m a smart ass and now I’m an Erudite? Make up your mind, Leader.” 

“You call me sir here,” he growled behind me, the deep, menacing sound of his voice sending chills through me. “And you get whatever name I decide.” I pursed my lips and took a deep breath, spinning around and walking backwards so I could look into the grey, blue depths of his eyes. 

“So, we don’t get to be called by our names?” 

“Not until you survive here, smart ass. Now turn around and listen to Four.” The command made me smile a little and I turned around, ears listening intently for Four. We had walked through a few dark and grey tunnels, their origin and division lost to me, but it seemed we stood in front of a large break in the tunnel system and I saw a huge opening of buildings and rings for fighting. So many people chattered, their voices loud and boisterous in the silence of my shock. 

“Welcome to Dauntless, initiates.” Four’s booming voice rang from the front of the line and quickly we shuffled to see all the people below us. 

“This is the Pit where most Dauntless and Dauntless initiates will spend their time in between training and stages. Eric, would you like to take it from here?” Eric smiled and brushed against my side, eliciting a small gasp from me that I failed to suppress. My skin tingled where his body had touched mine, but I tried my hardest to ignore it. It was _so_ hard. 

“We take the initiation process very seriously here, so I volunteered to oversee most of your training.” Eric spoke confidently, his eyes meeting my own for a moment before his cool gaze slid back into place. 

“Some ground rules,” he said. “You have to be in the training room by eight o’clock every day. Training takes place every day from eight to six, with a break for lunch. You are free to do whatever you like after six. You will also get some time off between each stage of initiation.” Eric looked expectantly at Four and Four coughed in response, stepping forward. 

“Alright, it’s time to eat!” Four made us follow him down the steps into the Pit, and my eyes glued onto all the people clad in black clothing with piercings and tattoos like Eric. It was strange that Four didn’t look the same amongst them, but I said nothing. On our way to the dining hall, Four took us to a place he called the chasm.

“Is this what you guys eat?” Archer snickered with an Amity, his name Shea. Eric prowled forward, his gaze set on Archer like a predator would set a marker for prey. 

“Why don’t you shut your mouth and listen, Candor?” I could feel the silent fury emanating from Eric, his back tense and his muscles straining underneath the black shirt and leather vest he wore. Archer blinked and looked down, biting his lip. Silently I prayed I wouldn’t have to feel the wrath of Eric, but I felt like with my luck it was an inevitable part of life that would have to happen to all of us here. 

The chasm was a large split in the rock that water rushed through, the height of the chasm higher than I would have liked, and fear surged through my body. I couldn’t imagine its purpose nor could I guess how the structure came to be. Maybe it was already there, I thought, but it seemed like a farfetched idea. 

“Don’t get any smart ideas and think the answer to all of your problems is jumping off this ledge. You may have issues, or maybe it’s some half-assed attempt at a stunt, but no one comes back from that fall.” Eric peered over the edge. “You have bigger things coming to worry about than that.” Great. Something to look forward to. 

After a few minutes of walking with the the silent murmurs of the initiates, Four brought us to our bunks. 

“This is where you’ll be staying for ten months while you’re going through the stages of training.” The murmurs turned into loud chatter as all the initiates started talking, their displeasure at the space evident. Dahlia looked over at me and Vera just ducked her head away from the smirking faces of Four and Eric. 

“If you want to get up you have to clean up here and change. New clothes are on the walls and you burn your old clothes in the pit when you’re done.” Four’s voice was loud in the room.

“Are you insane?” I questioned, glancing over the small room with twelve beds, the perfect number for all of the initiates. I was pissed that I was the only one who decided to speak up to them, despite their roles in Dauntless society. There were no rooms, no walls; there weren’t even any curtains, which meant we’d all have to dress, undress and sleep in the same quarters. Eric’s eyebrow rose at my voice. 

“What’s wrong, smart ass?” Four shot Eric a confused look, but it didn’t seem that Eric was paying any attention to him, the steely cool gaze of his focused on me. 

“We all have to sleep here?” Before Eric could probably shout something at me, Four took a step towards the other direction and Eric’s gaze simply continued to simmer on me. 

“If you like this, you’ll love the bathrooms.” 

 


	5. Welcome Initiates

_ Chapter 4 – Welcome Initiates  _

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_ _ Hey guys! I hope you all enjoy this chapter a bunch! If you have any questions, comments, concerns, theories, just leave them in the comments! Give me kudos if you like it a lot and bookmark for more! _ _

* * *

 

_ **_Previously..._ ** _

_ “What’s wrong, smart ass?” Four shot Eric a confused look, but it didn’t seem that Eric was paying any attention to him, the steely cool gaze of his focused on me.  _

_ “We all have to sleep here?” Before Eric could probably shout something at me, Four took a step towards the other direction and Eric’s gaze simply continued to simmer on me.  _

_ “If you like this, you’ll love the bathrooms.” _

* * *

 

_ Dahlia and Vera stood next to me, their plates empty and their eyes full of apprehension. We were in the dining hall after burning our clothes, the tight blue and black outfit becoming one with the flames along with the other clothes. It had felt like freedom, a new me born out of the ash from the old me. All three of us looked around, no seats seemingly available, except a few seats next to Eric. Across from Eric was Jake, and I smiled. It felt good to see someone I actually knew here, and see someone that knew something about this place. I figured it was a good idea to be his friend if I was going to survive, since this place didn’t seem all too forgiving. Metal clamoured against the metal countertops as people shuffled around, all clad in black. My new pants were tight fitted black leather and my top was a dark blue, the color agreeing with my olive skin tone.  _

_ “Let’s just do it, what can it hurt?” I murmured, my gaze falling on one of the leaders of Dauntless, Eric, his shoulders hunched. Despite his relaxed pose he radiated power and tightly reined emotion. Dahlia shot me a look.  _

_ “Do you think I’m crazy? Hah!” She raised her eyebrows and moved her tray wildly, trying to convince me that it was as crazy as it sounded out loud, but it had sounded even crazier in my head. I strode forward confidently, and it seemed that I took Eric by surprise by sitting next to him, his head tilted towards me in silent fascination.  _

_ “You don’t give up, do you, Erudite?”  _

_ “Says the Erudite.”  _

_ Eric pointed his fork at Jake in warning, his fingers gripping the table tightly. “You’re mistaken. I’m _Dauntless_.” Jake just shook his head.  _

_ “Yeah, whatever.”  _

_ Eric’s eyebrows lowered in annoyance, his fork resuming eating the salad that was on his plate. I snickered.  _

_ “What?” I hadn’t realized that I was that loud as Eric questioned me, fully turned towards me now.  _

_ “No, no, nothing. _Sir_.” Jake practically spit out his food, a loud guffaw erupting from his chest. Eric wasn’t convinced. I felt the need to stop staring into his eyes but I couldn’t persuade myself to look away. He mesmerized me in ways he probably shouldn’t have, the tattoos along his neck moving as he did, yet he managed to stay calm and graceful while still maintaining his appearance of utmost control.  _

_ “I just didn’t take you to be the kind of man to eat salad when there’s meat and muscle everywhere.”  _

_ “Eric still has some Erudite tendencies, I presume. You smarties eat a lot of salad?” I shrugged at Jake.  _

_ “Sometimes. We eat more fruit than meat, I suppose.”  _

_ “Stop talking about your old faction,” Eric growled at me, his harsh stare darting to Jake. _

_ “You’re in Dauntless now.” I nodded to him in acknowledgement before he picked up his tray and threw the remnants away, leaving the tray on top of the disposal. I shimmied uncomfortably on the cool metal seats. Jake chuckled at me.  _

_ “What?” _

_ “Nah, it just seems you’re looking to get yourself killed, trying to cozy up to Eric and all.” I gave him a confused look.  _

_ “I’m not–” _

_ “I know. But Eric isn’t going to pity you. Or encourage you. Or make you better. He’ll throw you from a train, sure, but he’s not the guy you want to try and understand. _I_ still don’t.” Eric sat back down next to us and both Jake and I straightened in our seats. I looked down guiltily, not quite sure what I felt guilty of, and moved the meat around with my fork.  _

_ “What? You don’t eat meat?” Eric questioned, his eyes brighter than before, humor written all over his features.  _

_ “I just–I never...”  _

_ “I get it,” he murmured, his body moving closer towards me so what he said was only shared between us. “It’s just beef from Amity. It’s cooked well and it’s good.” Erudite’s didn’t eat meat at all, truly. We were a lot like Abnegation that way, our belief that nutrients from fruit and plants were much more beneficial towards our survival than meat, which contains fatty acids and proteins. I took a forkful of the meat and put in my mouth, chewing slowly. Jake began laughing again, gaining satisfaction from my lack of knowledge instead of my overabundance of it.  _

_ “Lay off, Jacob.” Lauren snapped, her black matted hair swinging from over her shoulder as she glanced at him. Jacob was silenced in a moment from his trainers voice, and I smiled as I ate another forkful of the food. Sitting with Eric wasn’t as bad as I had originally imagined. He kept quiet mostly, eyeing the compound and the people in it. I could tell that more was going on behind his eyes, the wheels in his mind turning as he looked around. Everything was new, sure, but Eric was completely different. He wasn’t like the rest of the Dauntless. He seemed more committed, more dedicated, yet there was still a softness in his eyes that no one else noticed.  _

_ I threw out the contents on my tray and left it on the counter, my fingers trembling against my will. I was still afraid, still worried that there was worse things to come and that I wasn’t even close to safe yet. I was so caught up in my fear that I didn’t even realize the encompassing silence growing in the compound and I turned around, my eyes instantly finding the source of the silence. A dark skinned man of his mid twenties stood on the balcony of the compound, his hands holding onto the metal rails in front of him. He had the same tattoos like Eric, trailing down the sides of his neck like a brand.  _

_ “Welcome both initiates and Dauntless born. I am one of your Dauntless leaders, Max.” His voice was loud and booming, yet it was smooth. He sounded like he could talk his way out of anything. “You will begin the training that will teach you the ways of Dauntless soon. The ways of the brave and the strong. Bravery and strength can only be found in the conquering of fear, and you will learn to be better in spite of your fear. We thank you for taking the courage to be one of us. Initiates; please stand.” I crossed my arms next to my chest and held myself close, waiting for whatever was gonna happen to happen. The Dauntless began to bang their cups against the metal tables, the hard thuds connecting in a chain of chants and praise. It was a thunderous sound–all of the members clanking their cups down on the tables, the shouts of happiness ringing around the dining hall. A few feet away at the other table, Vera and Dahlia were picked up by the Dauntless members, and then hands wrapped around my waist, picking me up too. I shrieked in surprise as strong hands lifted me up, securing me as we moved like a wave above all of the different people. Dahlia and Jake grasped my hands and I laughed nervously as they carried us around the room as if we were trophies.  _

_ Tingles shot across my body and my skin prickled as new, warm hands touched the small of my back. I looked below me and found Eric holding me up, passing me to the next person. A twitch on the corner of his mouth was the only response I got, the suppressed smile somehow comforting to me. I was let down next to Vera and Archer while Dahlia and Jake were still suspended in the air by the other members. I inhaled deeply and shot Vera a look, her eyes wide with adrenaline.  _

_ “This is way too much for me to handle in a day,” she whispered, a tear escaping the corner of her eyes. She darted off to where we came from before, the room we would call our dorm for ten months. The thought that we would be staying in that room for that amount of time sickened me, especially as I stood next to Archer.  _

_ “We’re gonna have fun here, Erudite.” Ignore him. _Ignore him_. “Heard you ain’t got no parents. That why you leave?” I moved my body to face him.  _

_ “You ask a lot of questions for a Candor. You sure you don’t belong in Erudite?”  _

_ “Well it seems like neither of us would’ve belonged. Look at where we are now.” Dahlia was let down in front of me and she clasped tightly onto my shoulders, her tinkling laughter filling the hallway and Jake’s whoops following him across the other corridor. I looked at Archer once more before putting my arm around Dahlia and following the path that Vera took. I was beginning to realize that Archer would pose more of a problem than I originally thought.  _

_ “I really don’t like him.” She cast a glance at him across her shoulder before we moved through the throngs of people to our dorms. The halls were confusing but they were unique, so it was easy enough to find the beds from there.  _

_ “I don’t either. But we’re all going to be living together for the next ten months.” I said in a lowered tone. She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes and I laughed. The release in my chest felt good. It felt welcome from the fear that had been there before, the fear that was slowly starting to ebb away. I didn’t know what was going to come, but I knew that it would make me stronger, like Max had said. At least, that was what I hoped. And god I hoped.  _

_ Vera took the bed next to me while Dahlia took the other side, lifting her legs onto the bunk and resting her arms against her knees. She glanced over at me but I turned away, looking at my toes. My life from before had been burned away, whatever memories I had were either too bleak to actually remember or too harsh to want to remember. The only proof that I was Erudite was the fact that I was standing here now, and I had the nagging feeling that would soon be stripped away from me too, burned along with our old factions. A crumpled few years in the broad scope of the rest of my life. It scared me, the fact that I may begin to forget the person that I had created for my life in Erudite. But that’s what I had to do. In order to survive I had to adjust to Dauntless and hide my Erudite, like Eric seemingly had done.  _

_ I laid my head against the pillow and closed my eyes, the exhaustion from running more than I had ever in my entire life and the changes that were happening too quickly rushing through my system. Slowly my thoughts began to drift away and I was left in a soft sleep, one that wasn’t peaceful, but quiet, which was a welcome change. _

 

 


	6. Stone Cold

_** Chapter 5 – Stone Cold ** _

* * *

 

Hey guys! I hope you all enjoy this chapter a bunch! If you have any questions, comments, concerns, theories, just leave them in the comments! Give me kudos if you like it a lot and bookmark for more!

* * *

**_Previously..._ **

I laid my head against the pillow and closed my eyes, the exhaustion from running more than I had ever in my entire life and the changes that were happening too quickly rushing through my system. Slowly my thoughts began to drift away and I was left in a soft sleep, one that wasn’t peaceful, but quiet, which was a welcome change.

* * *

_I tossed and turned, the want to wake up suddenly all that I could feel. Fear was coursing through my body and my heartbeat was in my ears, loud and demanding. My head turned to a clock ticking in the distance before my surroundings suddenly came into focus. Grey and blue walls on all sides, they reminded me of my Erudite home, the halls I knew too well. I kicked my legs, and as I kicked I realized I was falling, falling down the chasm, falling through the floor with all of the initiates staring down at me._

_“You were never meant to make it.” They chanted insidiously, their voices melding into each other before they were indiscernible, one large group of hatred. I screamed, or I wanted to scream, but all that came out was a hoarse cry, my throat shut off with panic and fear. I landed at the bottom of the chasm, but it was no longer the watery depths, black and unyielding. No. Now it was the same grey and blue walls I knew too well._

_“You left us behind, Ashely. How could you forget us?” I turned around, a picture of two happy people, smiling, hanging in the darkness of the walls._

_“Who are you?” I called to no one in particular as I spun, looking in all directions before checking the picture. The people there seemed too familiar. I felt like I knew them, and knew them well, but the memory was so far away that my thoughts wandered without end._

_“Who are you?” I called louder, grabbing the picture and facing the other way. “Please.” I was becoming more and more desperate, my voice becoming lost to an echo that sounded throughout the entire room._

_“We’re your parents. Why did you forget us, Ashely? You promised you’d never forget us.”_

 

_Bang!_

 

I gasped awake, my gaze darting around the decrepit room that I was in. I clutched at my chest but it was no use, my heartbeat was still fast and my mind couldn’t come out of the dream. I had forgotten them, they had said. What was that supposed to mean? I had never met my parents, and it made absolutely no sense to me why a picture of people I had never met would greet me in my dream. Their voices and their faces scared me, mostly because it felt like I should have known them. Like I knew them. I shook my head and squinted my eyes against the lights in the room which flickered on, stuttering before shining brightly. 

I glanced around as if the room would have changed overnight to my Erudite home, and the dreadful realization that I could never go back began to settle over me. 

“Rise and shine, initiates.” I knew that voice. I peeked around the small bookshelf that shielded the voice from me, and as my head turned around the bend, I found what I had figured would be on the other side. Eric stood tall as ever, cold eyes scanning the room, his scrutiny following certain initiates and then landing on me. He blinked once and crossed his arms, a metal cup hanging from his hand that I hadn’t noticed before. _That was probably what made the banging noise_ , I thought irritably. Dahlia groaned next to me and Vera sat up like board, her back stiff and her posture hard. She acted like it had taken her nothing to wake up, and I figured she probably hadn’t slept all night. Now I would gladly take that over nightmares. 

“Get up, get dressed and meet me in the pit in five.” I held the bedsheets around my body as I took off my shorts and tee, switching them instead for a pair of cotton leggings and a dark forest green leather vest. I put my hair up in a high pony tail and walked over towards the bathroom, where three of the guys, Archer, Shea and Lucas–one of the Abnegation boys–were standing. 

“Hey smart ass,” Archer called, his eyes scanning my feet before pulling up, taking a few moments on my chest, before finally resting on my eyes. I kept the anger at his defiling gaze at bay while I stepped aside and looked at myself in the mirror. “Ready to get to the fun?” I ignored the malicious smile on his face and continued to work on what I was doing like I couldn’t see him. Like I couldn’t see any of them. Only a day ago I had chosen my life, and now. Well, now I looked like I had gotten hit by a tractor. I had bruises all over my arms and one on my cheekbone, probably from landing on the roof. I brushed my teeth quickly, ignoring the simpers and taunts of the boys behind me as I walked over to the stairs, taking two at a time. I couldn’t wait to get this over with. 

* * *

 

"This initiates, is day one of your training time here. Your training will be split into two categories. Combative Training and the Fear Landscape. Today we'll learn a bit of the basics; attacking and blocking. Some initiates are better at one rather than the other. You will be tested during a fight, and from that fight you will continue to work on your weaknesses rather than your strengths. The ranking system will rank all initiates–dauntless born and transfers–in one large group. Those underneath the red line will be cut at the end of the first category of training, and the same at the last category of training. Your ranking will effect your future in dauntless. Higher ranks will lead to higher positions, so on and so forth." 

Eric waved his hand in the air and sat on the bench, glancing over all of us. "Any questions?"

All of the initiates stood in the training room, one or two rooms away from the pit, all of us staring at the leader with stunned faces. Eric’s stone cold facade was in place, yet somewhere I wondered if there was more under that chilling gaze. His blue eyes glanced at me, so cold and immobile, like frozen glaciers of water. I felt the trickle of fear in the back of my mind, but I was more intrigued by his distance than scared of it. Boy was I losing my mind. 

“What do you mean we’ll be ‘cut’?” I spoke up, and a few held in breaths were released in the group. Eric stood and then began walking towards me with slow, deliberate steps. I knew inwardly it was meant to scare me, and somewhere I knew that I still had a fear of him, yet my curiousness seemed to outweigh my fear. 

“I mean, that if you do not make the marks, you will become factionless. They’re new rules.” A smirk pulled at his lips, and I didn’t believe the words he said in that moment. 

“Don’t you think that’s an unreasonable rule?” His shifted on his feet and crossed his arms, his head tilting to the side as if he was curious by my stupid bravery. I had just called a leader unreasonable, essentially. _Oh I was going to die very fast._

“Would you have chosen differently if you had known, smart ass?” Archer let out a chuckle and Eric’s eyes snapped to his menacingly. 

“If you belong in Dauntless, then we will choose you. If you cannot meet the requirements, you become a burden to our system and every other system. So consider yourselves lucky.” He gave me a last glance before turning around and punching in a few codes into a holographic board situated on the wall. 

The training room was essentially one large warehouse, cold grey pillars stood row after row, separating different training rings. Down a few rows there was a break in the rows and there was a large fighting ring, it seemed. After Eric punched in a few codes, a list of all of our names popped onto the screen and there it was, the red line. That would be the line to cut me off if I didn’t make it, and at that moment real fear began to settle in my stomach. If I couldn’t make it then I would surely die as a factionless member. Not because the factionless were bad, but because if I didn’t fit here, then I knew I wouldn’t fit in anywhere. 

“These are your ranking charts. Your first five months of training will consist of five fights. The first fight is the one that happens today and it doesn’t account for points. The next four will account as your rankings for the first category and will earn you your placement. You can change your placement, but without the right things,” he whistled and pointed his thumb towards the doorway. “Out ya go.” He switched panels on the board and turned back to all of us. The Dauntless born were no longer on the board and instead we were filed into group a and group b in two charts. 

“These are your fighting charts for the day. I will assign your placements; Dahlia and Zachary, Mat One.” He continued on, and I waited until I heard my name. I stood frighteningly still, my pulse strumming through my veins. I had never been a very violent person, but would I really have to fight someone to move further in this faction? I was starting to doubt that this had been a good idea. 

“Ashe and Celia, Mat Five.” I looked at the girl Eric had chosen for me to fight, her arms and legs lanky and lean, hair wavy and cut short and cropped around her neck. She had deep brown eyes, but they were cold and lifeless as she looked at me, assessing me like I was assessing her. Her hair was pretty much a platinum blonde, which made her someone hard to forget. I remembered her from the choosing ceremony. She had been Candor, like Archer. Silently I wondered whether or not they had been friends. If so, I was probably screwed. She rolled her eyes at me and walked over the the labeled Mat. 

We first had to watch the other initiates fight. Dahlia won her fight since she was fast, short and dainty, maneuvering away from her opponent, Zachary, and landing quick blows to his feet and legs. Quickly she had taken him down with efficient hits. 

“Dahlia, you will focus on strength training and more skilled take downs. Zachary, you will focus on blocking and defense.” 

Four more fights later, Archer, Shea, Bennett and Dahlia were the winners of their fights, and it was Celia and I’s turn in the ring. The feel of Eric’s gaze on me, watching me, set my nerves on fire, making me even more worried and self-conscious than I had been before. 

“Initiates, ready?” Eric asked in a low voice, the rasp of it connecting with my body like a wired string. Celia smiled and raised her arms, placing one leg in front of the other as she took a defensive pose. I took up a similar stance and nodded, waiting for Eric to give the word that would set my training apart from hers. That would either choose whether I lived or died here. Or got thrown out. There was that option too. 

“Fight!” Eric quickly removed himself from the Mat which he had been standing on, and Celia walked forward, keeping her stance and her defense steady. I moved in closed circles, avoiding becoming closer to her. She lunged, launching herself across the ring at me, and before I could react, she had grabbed my shoulders and connected a punch to my cheek. I recoiled quickly from her blow, ducking and slamming my shoulder as hard as I could into her side, but it wasn’t hard enough. She gave a loud cry and lunged again, kicking with both her legs and hands. I managed to avoid or block most of her hits, but one of her feet struck my stomach with such force I gasped for breath and fell onto the Mat. Before she could pounce on me and hit me or kick me, I spun underneath her grasping. As I crawled away, she grabbed my pony tail and yanked me backwards, knocking me onto my back and making my head ache with the blow. She began to straddle my hips, but before I could throw her off, she went to punch my face again. I moved my head out of the way and punched back, making blood stream from her noise. 

She screamed in pain and in that moment I took her position from her, straddling her hips and landing blows to her. Before the fight ended though, she managed to kick my ribs, punch my face and throw me out of the ring. 

“Enough.” Eric growled, his eyes unnaturally cold at the blood bath before him. The fight had gone longer than the rest, and it had been much more dramatic. I panted harshly, wiping away blood from my lip and cheek. “Celia, you are the winner. Your training will focus on defense and combative strategy. Ashe,” his eyes connected with mine and I felt shame at my loss cross my features without any consent from my own body. I wasn’t sure if I was more ashamed that I had failed, or more ashamed that Eric had watched me do it. Either way, both facts gnawed at my stomach. “You will focus on blocking, maneuvering and attacking.” He turned around without any more words, and I followed reluctantly, my body aching. Three things I had to focus on, not two like the others, great. He thought I was a complete and total failure, and it only pissed me off more that I cared. Why couldn’t I just have chosen Erudite? I wouldn’t have to fight like an animal, or against bloodthirsty people. I wouldn’t have the chance of failing and getting kicked out. I would be safe, and calm. But as I watched the next fight, I wondered if I truly wanted safety or if I wanted adventure. I had lived my whole life in safety, and I never knew what exhilaration, thrill or true friendship was. I looked at Eric and then at Dahlia, who smiled at me from across the ring. The adrenaline coursing through my body told me that I would feel it a lot more from now on, and maybe I should embrace the chance rather than discourage the act.

 


	7. Strange Occurences

_** Chapter 6 – Strange Occurrences  ** _

* * *

 

Hey guys! I hope you all enjoy this chapter a bunch! If you have any questions, comments, concerns, theories, just leave them in the comments! Give me kudos if you like it a lot and bookmark for more!

* * *

**_Previously..._ **

I had lived my whole life in safety, and I never knew what exhilaration, thrill or true friendship was. I looked at Eric and then at Dahlia, who smiled at me from across the ring. The adrenaline coursing through my body told me that I would feel it a lot more from now on, and maybe I should embrace the chance rather than discourage the act.

* * *

I sat in the front of the small dorm room where all of the initiates slept, my legs crossed over each other and my fingers playing with a small Erudite emblem that I had somehow managed to sneak past the Dauntless guards when I burned my clothes. That’s how bad our clothing was. We had emblems for it. The little blue eye had been stitched on the hip of my pants, and before we had gotten in the line to burn the clothes, I had very easily ripped the small piece of fabric from the side. I turned it over in my fingers, wondering if perhaps I hadn’t made a huge mistake. The rest of the day we had trained our butts off and I had come to the dorm rooms soaking in my own sweat, with some blood and tears most likely tattooed into the dark fabric. 

Luckily the girls had had the sense to combine blankets to create a small barricade between half of the bathroom, so that even though we had to be naked in front of each other, we didn’t have to be naked in front of the guys. I shivered, the unwelcome thought of having to shower even close to Archer and the other boys eating away at me. I felt that would be one small victory out of many large losses, but the rest I had to figure out on my own. I sighed at the fabric in my hands and threw my head back against the wall, closing my eyes. I didn’t want to admit it, but I felt the fear creeping up my spine and the sadness begin to overwhelm me. I knew that Vera had cried her first night, and more than a few nights after that, but I thought that I had cried my tears out years ago. Instead a few unwanted drops fell from my eyes, leaving cold streams against my cheeks. 

“You okay, Erudite?” I snapped straight at the voice, my head whipping through both hallways before landing on a familiar figure. Tall, controlled and cold as usual, Eric stood in the middle of the hallway, his arms folded across his chest. I didn’t have enough wit or sarcasm to throw a comeback at him, nor did I have the strength to tell him the truth. I just let my head fall to the small emblem hanging between the space in my legs, my head hung in defeat. 

“I’m fine.” I heard a snort before Eric took a seat next to me, landing quietly and gracefully, more graceful than I had ever expected from Eric. Everything about him, his physique, his tattoos, his piercings, the coldness of his gaze; they all told me that he should be brutish and aggressive, and although I saw that, I picked up on the quiet sincerity in his actions. 

“Glad you’re not in Candor.” I knew I was a bad liar, but the remark made me apprehensive. I couldn’t deal with his apathy at the moment. One day and I already felt like I could read this side of him like a book, but perhaps it was because I had grown up around people like him for most of my life. Erudites, cold and calculated, using hard facts and manipulation. That was their game, and I guess even when they transferred, it didn’t change them. Although most of him seemed Dauntless, I could see in the way that he looked around, inspecting everything, that he was both curious and intelligent, but instead he used fear and brashness to achieve his goals. I don’t know whether it made me happy or sad that I knew this type of person so well. 

“What’s this?” He pulled the small piece of fabric I held tightly in my hand from my fingers, inspecting the emblem with a curious scrutiny. 

“Do you miss it?” The question caught me off guard, coming from him, and I realized this whole situation seemed hilariously misplaced. He shouldn’t have cared how I felt, and he especially shouldn’t have wondered if I missed my old faction. Wasn’t he the one to tell me to stop speaking about Erudite? 

“Does it matter?” He handed the symbol back to me.

“Not particularly, but I don’t need depressed and suicidal initiates.” I looked at him through the corner of my eyes, trying to stick to impassiveness if I couldn’t stick to sarcasm. 

“I’m not suicidal.” 

“I don’t think you are either, but do you miss it?” A second time. The question caught me off guard again, and perhaps, I realized, I was afraid to say yes. Not because of Eric’s response, but because I knew that if I did say I missed it, I may never move on from it. _What was there to miss?_ I shrugged my shoulders and glanced at him, his eyes unnervingly focused on me, utterly and completely locked on me. If I was a target and he was a gun, then his gaze would be the little red dot marking me as his next victim. 

“I don’t know.” A small tug pulled at his lip and he rested his forearm against his knee, taking in a deep breath.

“I guess that’s a fair answer.” I was starting to realize that maybe Eric wasn’t a certain type of person. For me, he was spinning my head in circles now, with his cold gaze and at least lukewarm words. No he wasn’t a type of person, and he surely didn’t fit into any category, perhaps other than bipolar. 

“Why do you care?” I blurted out, my hand making its way to my mouth as if it could try and shove the words I had just so carelessly asked back into my stupid, stupid mouth. I was surprised to find a few emotions pass over his face, the first uncertainty, pass over his features before the cold demeanor I was learning well slid back into place. 

“You mistake my questions for emotions. I don’t care.” I raised an eyebrow at him, and instead of giving me another witty remark or cold comment, he stood without another word and loomed above me for a few moments. 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself Erudite. You’re in new territory now, and you’re in more danger than ever.” I didn’t know whether or not it was a threat or a warning, but I took it as a mixed signal of both. He began to walk away before he halted and turned halfway towards me again. 

“Oh and one more thing, you should probably cut your hair.” I could feel the blush creep up my skin as he assessed me carefully, his blue eyes resting lazily on my own. In this lighting they looked more green, and I realized that his eyes were speckled with both colors, making him even that more unique to those in Dauntless. My eyebrows pulled low over my eyes in confusion at his words. 

“Why?”

“So that initiates like Celia don’t end up grabbing it again and making you fail.” With those words hissed at me so much more cruelly than anything else he had said, he walked off, his black boots making loud thumps against the cold stone and metal floor, filling the silence of the hallway. I let fresh tears fall where the dried tears stained my cheeks. 

* * *

 

The next few days were awful. I felt like I had been tortured for five days straight.

I began to find bruises where I didn’t even think bruises could form, and my body was beyond achy. No, achy described pain from muscles growing and physical exertion. My achy body was caused by sixteen years of barely exercising and the same amount of years of letting my body become accustomed to sitting behind a chair and typing the results to experiments. That didn’t mean I was overweight. I was probably underweight at this point, skipping meals because of anxiety due to the choosing day and losing weight due to all this exercise. If I didn’t die before the end of training, I would be freaking lucky. 

I didn’t mind the training so much, except for the fact that Eric now avoided me as if I was the plague. There wasn’t any reason for me to mind him not talking to me with little quips and insults, but I realized I had become accustomed to that, just by the first day. It wasn’t exactly helping that I was bruising myself more from my own hits than the actual punching bag or any initiate opponent, not that I had had to fight anyone else. And other than the fact that I had forgotten that once you punch the bag the bag comes back, my happiness at pushing it far enough with enough force leaving me unguarded as the hard bag knocked me onto my back, the wind pushing out of my lungs with harsh gusts. 

“For an Erudite you sure have a bad sense of trajectory.” Archer smirked, his face the only thing in my sight after I had gotten knocked down. I simply stared at him until my breathing came back to a close to normal rate and I allowed Dahlia help me up, Eric watching the events transpire, his lack of emotion setting me on edge. After that I started punching with wild abandon, making the muscles in my arms burn with harsh fire as I relentlessly hit the stupid bag, kicking it with all the force in my body. And that’s how I got to today, where after punching the bag so hard for so long, my body finally gave out and in the middle of class I had to sit down before I fainted. Eric walked over to me, his posture straight and his eyes set on my own with burning accuracy. 

“You’ll wear out fast that way.” I lowered my head into my hands and sighed deeply. 

“No kidding, thanks for the info.” He crossed his arms over each other, his jaw set tightly. 

“I’m not here to be your mother. Get your ass back on the floor and move to defense. Four’s teaching today.” When the name Four passed over his lips, a scowl slid over his dark features. I shot him a harsh look and wobbled over to Four, where he tackled one of the initiates to the ground and held the poor boys leg above his shoulder, the boy crying out in pain or fear or shock, or maybe a mix of all three, I wasn’t sure. I glanced back at Eric and found him staring after me, his eyes assessing my body as I moved away from him. 

* * *

 

I had trained until my body was so weak that I slumped against the side of the wall, watching as all the initiates filed out of the room, leaving only Eric and I in the training room. It was time for dinner but I could barely register the time as I relaxed against the cold surface behind me, the only relief from fighting and training. I sucked in a harsh breath as I stood, my legs wobbly and beyond sore. 

“It’s not a new rule, is it?” 

I was satisfied that my question caught him off guard, but other than his first reaction, his body quickly slid back into his old demeanor. He stared at me with a bored, uninterested look. His gaze made me feel like I was the most annoying thing in his life at the moment, and he just crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. 

“What did you say, Erudite?” I walked closer, my legs carrying me only so far in a small amount of time. 

“The new rule you said was put into place, it’s not a new rule, is it?” He stance remained impassive but his eyes held more curiosity, annoyance and exasperation at me. After a moment of a staring match between us he pushed himself off the wall and slowly walked towards me, his steps purposeful and his gaze predatory. He paused as he reached in front of me, his body straight and unnaturally composed. I saw the muscles in his arms bunch and flex, his grip obviously tightening on himself. I wondered if perhaps it was a way to keep himself calm. I could tell he was trying to intimidate me but I just looked back at him, waiting for a response. 

“You’re right. It’s a lie. To make initiates feel like they have more to prove, make them work harder or die.” 

“Did you create the rule?” He raised his eyebrow at that. 

“Why would you think that?” I looked up at the ceiling as if I was contemplating my answer. 

“Because, you seem like the kind of guy who’s either do it or die.” At this he smirked and rubbed the back of his neck, craning forward towards me slightly. 

“Can’t say that’s a bad reason.” 

“What was your rank?” My question took him off guard again, his eyes snapping towards mine like a whip. I could practically feel his anger in the small space between us. He moved closer towards me, until there was barely an inch of space between us, his eyes boring into my own and branding me like a white hot fire. 

“You don’t get to ask me questions.” Eric growled. “Go to the pit and eat.” It wasn’t a question and it wasn’t just an order. It was laced with so much venom that I began to realize that his initiation was a sore spot to him, and I mentally noted that fact. I gave a slight nod and pushed past him, walking slowly towards the door. It wasn’t much, but it was a small win in learning more about my trainer and leader, and small wins could lead to large ones. 

 


End file.
